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: post by RichHorror at 2006-08-03 10:48:53
Dear Ronnie James Emo,

Simply take her to your local veterinarian and get her vocal chords surgically removed. Simply explain to the doctor that she barks too much and your landlord has threatened to evict you if you aren't able to keep her quiet. After ridding her of her nagging voice, she'll be so grateful that you'll have an attentive woman for the rest of her life... which hopefully doesn't last much longer than a week.

- Rich
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