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post by
DestroyYouAlot
at 2008-08-28 00:34:05
Ok, here goes.
Ow.
By 1 minute in we have:
Tinny "not exactly Fade to Black or One but we're trying" arpeggios (except too high), half-assed attempt at a harmonized solo (KIRK YOU ARE BANNED FROM THE FIRST THREE STRINGS) with that shitty fuzzbox sound, trashcan snare, and - wait for it - GENERIC METALLICA BALLAD TURNAROUND #6.
Listening...
(Is my speaker clipping, or does the snare sound like that for everybody else, too?)
Hetfield, you can't sing that well, but that doesn't excuse the "yeah-yeahahahasss" thing in this song. Just mix it low like you used to; you don't have to be the wolfman right now.
Ooh, the chorus. Yup, there's the song title. KIRK STOP IT, I KNOW THAT LEAD WORKED IN "THE UNFORGIVEN" BUT YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON.
Alright, back to shitty lead #1. Then a verse. Chorus. Yup. Now we're doing something different. Annnnnd...
Oh, good, Southern rock again - you guys totally haven't run that little twist into the ground.
"Love is a 4-letter word?" I mean, I'm actively trying NOT to listen to lyrics, and that one jumped out and kicked me in the nuts.
Oh, it's fast now. Wait, what? Somehow "one.mp3" got cued up on Winamp and now it sounds like shit - WAIT A MINUTE.
Thin Lizzy lead, that wasn't so terrible I guess.
Meedlies and squeedlies, only I'm guessing they let Trujillo play those on a left-handed guitar while drunk, 'cause I distinctly remember both those other guys knowing their way around a guitar pretty well. Hmm...
*MEL BAY'S "HOW TO PLAY METAL LEADS THE EASY WAY" SECTION GOES HERE*
Ok, those three chords again, I remember those.
*chunk chunk chunk chunk chunk chunk hey remember how And Justice was a good album?*
Meedly meedly WE'RE DONE.
Well, that went pretty much how I thought it would. *shifts uncomfortably*
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