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you are ab-using [QUOTE]blah blah blah[/QUOTE] to reply to Josh Cunt.
Please remove excess text as not to re-post tons
[QUOTE="Josh%20Cunt:1162576"]So, my roommate bought a can of alcoholic whip cream the other day. 15% alcohol/30 proof. Not bad for whip cream, right? Anyways, I ran out of booze earlier. I find the can of alkie whip cream. I get out a cup to make a booze-cream and milk drink. I hold the can over the cup and depress the nozzle. So what happens???? THE FUCKING NOZZLE DOESNT WORK RIGHT AND INSTEAD OF ALCOHOLIC WHIP CREAM FILLING MY CUP ALL THE NITROUS JUST WOOOSHES OUT, LEAVING ME WITH NOTHING!!!!! Grrrrrr............ Undaunted, I continue. My genius idea is to get a knife and attempt to saw open the can of whip cream. Doesnt work. Even more Einstein-like, I get a bbq fork and start stabbing the bottom of the can. This actually produces results, leaving fork-prong sized holes throughout the bottom of the can. I shake the can over the cup and am rewarded with a smattering of booze-filled whip cream. My booze-addled brain decides that if a few fork-holes bring a little booze ,then many fork-holes will bring lots and lots of booze. I continue stabbing the bottom of the can. I stab the can harder and harder and eventually stab myself in the finger. The index finger on my left hand. My fret hand. Instead of thinking this may not be a good idea, I continue stabbing the bottom of the can. I stab myself in the same finger once again. This time it really really fucking hurts. Lots of blood is now flowing uncontrollably out of my finger. Before attending to my injured digit, I shake the fucking Hell out of the can and get every drop of booze out of it. I slam down the drink and make a tourniquet of paper towels and after several minutes, stop the bleeding. So, where does this all leave me? I have ten days til we record the bonus tracks for the vinyl version of the new album. My left index finger is swollen like an ethoipian's distended belly. I can play power chords and rudimentary solos (which normally would be just fine for an AC session but we're doing a Buckcherry cover this time) but anything involving complex fingering hurts like Hell. All because I was too lazy to walk the 3 blocks to the liquor store (which I had to do anyway once I killed the whip cream) I hate myself. [/QUOTE]
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