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:	post by bobnomaamrooney at 2011-02-18 15:18:41

INDIANAPOLIS-An area high school is under lockdown after Bob Sanders' left patella exploded into a million pieces of razor sharp shrapnel. Ripping through the brick wall of the school's gymnasium pieces of the former All-Pro safety's kneecap were found embedded in the far wall of the gym, one shard was even found embedded in a cafeteria window across the courtyard from the gym. Students reported a sound that "was like a bomb going off" according to Sophomore Merton Hanks and school staff quickly locked down the building and called police.

Upon the realization that the explosion wasn't the harbinger of a school massacre but simply yet another catastrophic Bob Sanders injury police weren't terrible surprised. "It's just a fact of life here in the Circle City," said Metro Police Chief Paul Ciesielski, "some cities have blizzards, others get hurricanes. Here, we always know we're only the slightest bump away from one of Mr. Glass' limbs exploding in a horrific manner"

As of press time Samuel L. Jackson, who portrayed Mr. Glass in the cinematic masterpiece "Unbreakable," was working out for Bill Polian.

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