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New site? Maybe some day. 
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I'm going to give the Joe Christianni fact gen another go.
I need more JC facts
And by the way, You know how in the One Step Closer video by linkin park theband flips upside down? That was Joe Christianni's idea. |
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Joe Christianni is responsible for 35% of toe stubbings. |
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Joe Christianni and Zakk Wylde used to date extensively in the 70's, but now they're just good friends. |
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i know the real joe christianni personally i ll answer any questions |
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one thing that is true is that joe really does like flavored water |
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he also invented sheepskin condoms after his original invention, lizard skin condoms, scraped the skin off too many vaginal walls. |
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Joe doesnt like vaginas so the previous post was a lie......Dreadkill is Joe Christianni. |
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Dreadkill is Joe Christianni. also true |
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Hoser said: | Joe doesnt like vaginas so the previous post was a lie......Dreadkill is Joe Christianni. |
he wasn't using the condoms. he invented them so he could fuck guys without spreading aids. other people used them in vaginas. |
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anonymous said: | Dreadkill is Joe Christianni. also true |
that was very original |
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Joe Christianni is a proficient xylophone player, but he lacks flair. |
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he could finish watching the latest fat albert movie cause it was to "real" for him.
and here I thought he liked black people. |
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jeffhorror and joe showered together no fewer than 13 times even though they were on opposing JV teams |
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Joey C owns one share of stock. it was purchased from an internet company called chickie to something or other. this gives in a controlling share in said company. While serving on the board of goveners, he refuses to answer unless they address him in full as Prince Mr Christianni LLC. this name came to him in a dream in which his favorite current performer, Mo-danna, tried to adopt him.
Neither the one share of stock, the new name, or the adoption ever lead him to true love. |
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Joe Christianni started the Sacreligion fan club. he's not just the president, he is also a client. |
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Joe Christianni's girlfriend once put out a grease fire with her camel toe |
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Joe Christianni bought Fear Factory "Remanufacture" and didn't return it. |
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Feminists actually protested Joe Christianni's synonymity with the word PUSSY.
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When Joe was a child, the Christianis forbade him from watching any more moustache-era Queen videos. They had cleaned up after enough "accidents" already. |
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Joe Christianni once got a boner during an episode of Malcolm in the Middle |
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Joe Christianni has a WWFMD (What Would Freddy Mercury Do?) bracelet. |
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Joe Christianni gets depressed sometimes and complains he'll never be good enough to work at the Route 1 Sunoco station. |
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Haha awsome.
I Need WAYYY more though. I'm only up to like 30.
FACT: The movie labyrinth was loosely based on Joe Christianni's early career as a petrolium transfer technician.
FACT: Joe Christianni invented bell-bottoms.
Q: What's the difference between Joe Christianni and a refridgerator?
A: Refridgerators don't far when you pull your meat out.
FACT: Joe Christianni thinks your hair would look SOOOO much beter with highlights. |
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Joe Christianni has rabies |
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joe christianni's monthly periods can produce as much as 2 litres of blood. |
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I have 35 now. keep em coming. |
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joe christianni thinks axl rose would look "scrumptious" if he just wore more spandex. |
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xmikex said: | Joe Christianni bought Fear Factory "Remanufacture" and didn't return it. |
thats probably the most random one. |
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haha back in the day you could tell if someone was a poser instantly if they owned Remanufacture instead of Demanufacture. |
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Joe Christianni says stays in Tuesday nights to practice Tae Kwan Do, but he really watches Judging Amy. |
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joe christianni uses playboys as a decoy to hide his impressive stack of tiger beat magazines. |
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Scientology was created to explain Joe Christianni. Somewhere down the line, those damned impressionable celebrities misunderstood. |
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6 more facts and I will have 50, which is enough for me to post the link to the long awaited Joe Christianni Random facts generator v2.0 |
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1 more. Mike, don't fail me now. |
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I'm still looking for more facts though.
Once I get a dickload of them I'm going to try and bother Aaron to the point where he adds it to RTTP. |
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Joe Christianni once masturbated in a sea of men. |
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The word "queef" was actually created upon Joe Christianni's birth by his mother, intended to mean "the act of birthing arguably the world's most impressive faggot," or in its verb form, "to birth arguably the world's most impressive faggot." The word's true meaning has clearly been lost in translation from generation to generation. |
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On cold winter nights, Joe Christianni can be seen snuggling on the couch in front of the fireplace with a big bowl of popcorn watching the Gilmore Girls on DVD. |
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Joe Christianni to this day believes that the real meaning for the word "masturbation" is crying over a half-gallon of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia Low-Fat Frozen Yogurt while watching "The Notebook" in his ALF pajamas, worrying about how fat his thighs look. |
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Joe Christianni fellates cadavers. |
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The first time Joe Christianni engaged in sexual intercourse, his first impulse was to put the condom in his ass. |
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Joe Christianni's porn collection is, in reality, the first 3 seasons of "The Golden Girls," and a bag of old Gummi Bears autographed by Richard Grico of "21 Jump Street" fame. |
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Having safe sex with Joe Christianni is not having sex at all. |
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MarkFuckingRichards said: | Joe Christianni's porn collection is, in reality, the first 3 seasons of "The Golden Girls," and a bag of old Gummi Bears autographed by Richard Grico of "21 Jump Street" fame. |
Fuck, that's MY porn collection too. |
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Every year on Halloween, Joe Christianni dresses up as the Snuggle bear and creeps into every house in his neighborhood to make their clothes Snuggles Soft. |
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joe christianni is in a substance free break dancing group called "the floor lords", whose members include himself and a rainbow brite doll. |
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DrinkHardThrashHard said: MarkFuckingRichards said:| Joe Christianni's porn collection is, in reality, the first 3 seasons of "The Golden Girls," and a bag of old Gummi Bears autographed by Richard Grico of "21 Jump Street" fame. |
Fuck, that's MY porn collection too. |
I know.
DrinkHardThrashHard is Joe Christianni, who also posts as dreadkill from time to time from different IP addresses to dupe the internet.
Joe Christianni volunteered his services to the Suicide Hotline, boasting a 100% efficiency rate of saving lives, responding to suicide contestants with, "Hey, at least you're not me." |
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Joe Christianni has an All-4-One shrine on the underside of his top-bunk. The shrine is held together by only semen and his love for the mildly successful R&B group. |
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Joe Christianni is NOT America's Next Top Model. |
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Joe Christianni is single-handedly responsible for men wearing women's jeans in "the scene."
Joe Christianni is responsible for the term "the scene." |
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No matter how many times he watches it, Joe Christianni always cries at the end of Disney's remake of "Mighty Joe Young."
Joe Christianni sympathizes with the drag queens portrayed in the hit movie "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything-Julie Newmar." |
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Joe Christianni once approached me to discuss our mutual love of DragonBall Z, and upon realizing I had no idea what he was talking about, attempted to kiss me on the mouth. |
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Joe Christianni advised Adolf Hitler to eradicate the Jewish community from the earth. Joe Christianni is the biggest asshole ever known to man. |
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Joe Christianni is the sole reason that abortion is legal and that regular checkups for sexually transmitted diseases are readily available at any clinic.
Planned Parenthood gave Joe Christianni a charity vasectomy, for they feared his spawn would infest the earth like termites with JNCO jeans and glow-in-the-dark Twiztid tattoos.
Joe Christianni is the reason emo kids suck.
Joe Christianni found out first hand what they mean by "Everything's Bigger in Texas." He will never walk regularly again.
It is so easy to make fun of Joe Christianni that it has become a staple event in the Special Olympics. |
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Joe Christianni is responsible for every god damn pot hole on Route 9, in part due to the tires on his big wheel being made from the bones of obese children, whom he kills and eats to make himself feel big. |
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The world-famous "Shit Happens" bumper sticker was originally coined as "Joe Christianni Happens." His name had too many characters to fit effectively on the standard size bumper sticker.
"Bumpers" are now installed at every bowling alley in order to avoid Joe Christianni's screaming conniption fits. |
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here's the worst one of all:
Joe Christianni is Joe Christianni |
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The endless war between Israel and Palestine is known to have been caused by a religious dispute, but the real reason is Joe Christianni.
Joe Christianni gets goosebumps when he watches "Muppet Babies."
The term "baby dick" was inspired by Joe Christianni.
Joe Christianni bathes in a kiddy pool filled with unsweetened Jell-O. He is not wasteful, so he consumes the Jell-O after every bathing session. He is also generous, so he shares with his collection of rubber duckies. |
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Joe Christianni once went to a show at the Middle East ready to "FuCk uPP Sum t0WelHeddZ N shit, dude." |
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Joe Christianni wrote the script for Gigli, and with some improvements, it was greenlighted. |
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Joe Christianni owns a rainbow onesy. |
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Joe Christianni caught his little brother fucking a pumpkin, and because he is so resourceful, decided to add a hole or 2 and make it "the most br00talzist Jack-o-lantern evarzzz" |
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Joe Christianni hates when vaginas are referred to as beavers, cooters, punanis, pussies, et al. for he feels it is too impersonal, and women have feelings too. |
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Joe Christianni speaks in internet lingo/abbreviations at all times. |
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It has been said that Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer, too bad he never cries. It has also been said that Joe Christianni's tears CAUSE cancer; too bad he can never stop crying. |
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Joe Christianni's favorite cereal was Alphabits (without marshmallows), until they spelled out "FAG" on his spoon, and he sued.
Thus, no more Alphabits for anyone, marshmallows or none. |
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Joe Christianni requested that the national average for penis size be reduced so he could boost his self esteem about having an "innie." |
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Once, for the better part of a week, Joe Christianni referred to himself as "JC", until finally he was hit by one of those G.O.D delivery trucks.
Amazingly, he learned his lesson. |
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KillerKadoogan said: Joe Christianni's favorite cereal was Alphabits (without marshmallows), until they spelled out "FAG" on his spoon, and he sued.
Thus, no more Alphabits for anyone, marshmallows or none. |
hahahahahahaha, i seriously am crying because of how good that is
Joe Christianni was given a job at the M & M factory, sorting the candies. He misunderstood, and was soon fired for trying to alphabetize all the M & M's. |
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Joe Christianni refuses to change out of his Care Bears footsie pajamas on Sunday mornings. |
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Jawshy once told me he had seen Joe Christianni at McDonald's ordering the "filet-o-fish, dudeguydude. You shoulda seen his eyeliner, guy."
this is far too much fun considering i have no idea who this kid even is. |
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Joe Christianni created the term "ROFLMAO," or "Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off," while watching a hilarious episode of the Teletubbies. |
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No one really knows Joe Christianni for sure, but everyone is an expert. He is the human equivalent to Big Foot, only not as spectacular or mysterious. |
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In High School, Joe Christianni bragged to his friends (goldfish) about getting an in-school suspension for drawing a picture of that Julia girl from FUSE shitting on his chest. |
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Joe Christianni was the only one rooting for Papa Shango when voodoo was used to give The Ultimate Warrior appendicitis. Therefore, Joe Christianni was responsible for the downfall of the WWF's greatest wrestler. Now no one will invite Joe Christianni to their birthday party. |
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When Joe Christianni saw his little brother's penis as a baby, he exclaimed, "That is one Killer Kadoogan!" |
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Babies with Spina Bifida have more back-bone than Joe Christianni. |
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Joe Christianni wants to sux y0us guyz d1ck5 0ff. |
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El Nino is actually Spanish for The Joe Christianni. |
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Joe Christianni has a mangina. |
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Joe Christianni is either directly or indirectly responsible for the deaths of Frank Zappa, Bob Marley, Rodney Dangerfield, Warren Zevon, Link Wray, John Lennon, and Dr. Seuss, among others. |
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Joe Christianni may or may not have been within a few feet of possibly coming close to brushing the shoulder of Liza Minelli's bodyguard's chauffer. |
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Joe Christianni always takes his shirt off at concerts. in 2005, when Queen played at the centrum, he took his shirt off 5 days before the show just so he wouldn't forget. |
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Joe Christianni is responsible for the creation of "The Land Before Time" numbers 2 through 8. He has already started pre-production of 9 through 12. |
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Joe Christianni can tap-dance better than christopher walken... in his dreams! |
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Every New Year's Eve, Joe Christianni makes sure to intently watch the countdown to the Ball drop, in hopes that if he concentrates hard enough, his own balls may drop. |
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Joe Christianni is on the cheif writing staff at "YM" since he displays the most important features and characteristics of an adolescent girl growing up into teenage years in America. |
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revymous said: | Joe Christianni always takes his shirt off at concerts. in 2005, when Queen played at the centrum, he took his shirt off 5 days before the show just so he wouldn't forget. |
In sharp contrast to this, I heard Joe Christianni buys shirts from the shows just so he can put it on over the shirt he is already wearing to show his support for whatever band he may be seeing.
However, this behavior may be reserved for shows at the Worcester Palladium, so he can get his $40 worth and show Scott Lee how much he cares. |
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Joe Christianni once posed as one with "special needs" so he could enter the Special Olympics and finally be awarded a medal in something. At the end of the games, he was the only one without a medal; not because he really wasn't retarded, but because he was too retarded. |
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Joe Christianni watches "Wild On! E!" for the articles. |
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Joe Christianni's dad got laid off from the dick factory. |
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Joe Christiani was driving the train that killed El Duce. He thought it was the express to Fire Island. |
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Joe Christianni still believes that OJ didn't do it. |
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Joe Christianni knows that one Christmas, Santa will finally bring him his very own penis. |
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who is joe christianni? This poor dude is getting laced left and right |
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Joe Christianni once ate a bag of dicks. |
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timmy-not so porphyria said: | who is joe christianni? This poor dude is getting laced left and right |
Joe Christianni is the world's biggest Captain Cupcake Brigade fan. He started an unofficial fan club; the only other known members are his collection of Rainbow Bright and Cabbage Patch Kid dolls. |
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Joe Christianni started the annoying trend of TYPING WITH THE CAPS LOCK ON AT ALL TIMES. His infamy is unrivaled. |
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Joe Christianni finger-blasted a life size Miss Piggy doll in front of 75 people at a party where he got drunk off of fermented Capri Sun. |
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Joe Christianni asks the mechnical Chuck E. Cheese band for autographs every time he goes to Chuck E. Cheese's. |
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Joe Christianni's parents abused him with assorted dildos, thus explaining his affinity towards alpha-male figures. |
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Joe Christianni had his phone number re-routed to 867-5309 in hopes that people would actually call him. |
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Joe Christianni advised the band Korn to spell their name with a backwards R. |
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All Saturday Night Live skits involving Bill Brasky were actually based on factual events and information known about Joe Christianni. The moniker Bill Brasky was used to avoid any potential law suit, and most importantly to hide the fact that the writers of SNL know so much about Joe Christianni. |
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Joe Christianni was in fact the first person to use the word "Fucking" in between his first and last names. I later stole it from him and he has never tried taking it back because he fears confrontation. |
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Joe Christianni asked his parents for a ball-gag filled with cream cheese and a dog leash for Christmas. |
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Joe Christianni is the reason that priests have the hots for young boys. |
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ok, i'm going too far with this shit, haha. this is the last one for a while:
Joe Christianni wanted to feel and look "hard" so he put a bottle of Crystal Light inside a paper bag and limped around his neighborhood, trying to scare children at nearby day care centers, playgrounds, kindergartens and pre-schools. The next day, he was the first person to ever press charges of 38 separate counts of assault and battery against toddlers. |
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Joe Christianni frightens kittens. I saw him do it. |
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Yeah, really. Just when you think you know a guy. He goes and pulls some shit LIKE THIS.
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Joe Christianni has been fooled by scare tactics 8 times. 2 of which were alien related. 1 of which was alien related. 4 that were alien related. and one that was vagina related.
note: he's never actually been on scare tactics, but took web-cam videos of himself watching scare tactics in his mom's bedroom. |
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if diddy did it, joey c did it (or atleast that what he tells his co-workers at his current job, old navy.) |
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the christianni milk of choice? strawberry quick. |
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Joseph Modonna Christianni did in fact sit in gum. |
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Joe Christianni's crowning achievment was walking into newbury comics on newbury street, shouting "sic mosh", and then running out. he also did this at cd spins, and some crappy used vinyl store on newbury st. when he tried these shinanigans at tower, he told his friend the cops chanced him. in reality a cashier asked him to leave. |
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Joe Christianni loves his mom.
Frequently. |
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joe christianni believes in angels.
it all started that magical day when he was touch by one. |
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Joe Christianni was captured on film,"Bringing the sic mosh", By the Rev,at the mall in front of Hot Topic |
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Yeti said: xmikex said:| Joe Christianni bought Fear Factory "Remanufacture" and didn't return it. |
thats probably the most random one. |
Hahah really? I like this one a lot it made me"lol". |
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Joe Christianni invented those tassels on leather jackets. |
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Joe Christianni once held a gun to Derek Roddy's head and made him play a two-footed blast beat. |
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Joe Christianni likes Arena Football more than the NFL |
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Joe Christianni has every episode of Boy Meets World on VHS. He used to tell his friends that it was because he had a HUUUUUGE crush on Topanga until he had a wet dream about Rider Strong at Scouts Camp. |
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It was Joe Christianni's idea for Lil Wayne to finally admit his feelings for Birdman |
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Joe Christianni is the Matrix. |
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Joe Christianni spent this past Thanksgiving the same way he has spent the previous 13 Thanksgivings, working on his 5,000 page Chip & Dale Rescue Rangers erotic fan fiction. |
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To this day Joe Christianni's mom still won't let him play Mortal Kombat. |
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Joe Christianni owns all the European and Japan singles Ace of Base put out |
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I HEARD JOE CHRISTIANNI CHALLENGED WHEN LEGENDS DIE TO A FIGHT AND THEY DENIED JOE WAS SPEECHLESS |
 
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