post by notorious_D.U.G. at Jun 7,2006 10:22pm edited Jun 7,2006 10:44pm
When I got home from work today I went and squatted a grump. But realizing I was running behind schedule I had to cut it short. Bad move. All the way there I felt the poopquakes in my guts and knew it was only a matter of time.
So I get there and the first thing she does is give me a low back massage. She's kinda cute so it was all good. I started to get all relaxed. Then it dawned on me . . . I could at any moment now gas her. That ruined the whole experience. My feet were twitching. I started sweating. No way I could enjoy myself after that.
It started getting real scary when I had to turn over and do knee to chest bends. It was like a Mr. Wizard experiment trying to keep that shit contained. Oh well.
yeah but I still have to look her in the eyes and talk to her for 8 more weeks. I'd probably be pawned off on to another therapist. Or she would've left her husband for me. who knows?
It's official, back rubs make me want to fart. Don't really understand it, but it's true. Had another visit today. The chamber was clear but I still had the urge to fumigate. I need to stop being such a pussy and commit to farting on her and just get it the fuck out of the way already.